CAPTAIN OF THE FAR SKIES, SLAYER OF SOME(?), MASTER(?) OF HIS CREW, AND seriously where the hell did this guy come from get out-
A captain of a skyship originating from a magical world where skyships are, the second least intelligent occupation you can have, just after professional hurricane surfer. Only in command of one because of his more competent crew.
His voice is the first thing anyone hears. Rough, base, booming, and nearly perpetually talking at above politeness. Even when talking quietly to someone, he's still loud.
A scruffy, brown-bearded and green-eyed man who has apparently only given the barest of glances to what pirates wore and instead wears somewhat worn costuming stuff. A bright red coat captain's coat with black lining and brass buttons, a pair of tall boots with comically oversized buckles, a hat that is absolutely outrageous in both size and sheer number of peacock feathers, and some heavy duty-pants. He normally towers at six and a half feet, but hunches himself over slightly as he tries to pretend he has a peg leg. Both his eyes are perfectly functional, despite the eyepatch, which makes him walk into things repeatedly.
His skin is slightly weathered and darkened by the sun and high winds, and he looks of European descent.
None of these things appear to bother the parrot on his shoulder. In fact, nothing appears to bother or affect the parrot, which is surprisingly immobile and... stiff.
One play sword. If he actually manages to hurt someone with it, that would be a miracle (particularly as it is cursed to be even more ineffective).
One heavily jeweled scabbard (the jewels are fake, either glass or plastic) with absurd, pirate-y ornamentation.
A heavily enchanted set of clothing protecting against weaponry, fire, and other such things. His crew insists he wears it because it looks "dashing."
An eyepatch that actively works to make him more incompetent as both his eyes are totally functional.
A dead and taxidermied parrot which has been enchanted to work as a radio. It is nailed to his shoulder
Surprisingly charaismatic and displays a great wealth of knowledge about culture, nobility, and art.
Looks very very very sad when he cries.
Acrobatic and can juggle
Cannot fight. At all.
Has a distorted view of reality.
Has no real idea how to command a ship or how pirates actually operate; frequently mistaken for an actor before being dragged onto stage.
To be continued.